I needed therapy for my Tinder addiction – at one point I was chatting to 10 women at once

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Written By Rivera Claudia

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  • Ed Turner said he would swipe right on every women and speak to 10 at one time
  • He was addicted feeling validated when he got matches but didn’t want to date 

The first thing Ed Turner thought about when he woke up was swiping right to every single woman that appeared on his screen. 

Although he deleted Tinder and his catalogue of other dating apps during his first long-term relationship in 2021, which lasted a year, he could only think about the high a match brought him.

Mr Turner, a quality manufacturer, first downloaded the app in 2015 when he was 18, even though he had no intention of going on any dates or finding a girlfriend. At his worst, he was talking to 10 women at once.

Instead, his aim was to get matches to feel validated and know women found him attractive. 

Hooked on dating apps, Mr Turner found himself in therapy for his addiction.

Ed Turner, pictured, said he would get a ‘high’ every time he got a match, but it soon took turned into an addiction

His problems with dating apps started almost immediately after downloading them.

If Mr Turner didn’t get a response or if a woman didn’t message him first he would feel crushed.

‘I would get highs when I was getting a lot of matches with people that I found attractive but it would always be followed by a crash because it’s not sustainable,’ he told the i. 

Mr Turner has since found he suffers with borderline personality disorder and depression and not getting responses from women exaggerated his fear of abandonment and exacerbated his depressive moods.

At the peak of his use, he had Tinder, Bumble and Hinge downloaded on his phone, he would speak to 10 women at once and go on a date once a week.

Although he took women out for dinner after they had been talking for a while, he rarely enjoyed it and admitted it was to make sure they continued to talk to him. 

Mr Turner said the apps were like ‘window shopping’ — he would swipe right on every woman he saw and later decide if he liked them once they had liked him back. 

More than 55 per cent of UK users think they spend too long on dating apps, with the average person spending about 55 minutes a day scrolling through them, according to the dating site eHarmony. 

But Mr Turner confessed to spending up to three hours a day swiping and he even paid for monthly subscriptions which allowed him to make unlimited swipes.

Ed Turners problems with dating apps started almost immediately after downloading it. If he didn't get a response or if a woman didn't message him first he would feel crushed

Ed Turners problems with dating apps started almost immediately after downloading it. If he didn’t get a response or if a woman didn’t message him first he would feel crushed

Ed Turner first downloaded tinder in 2015 when he was 18, even though he had no intention of going on any dates or finding a girlfriend

Ed Turner first downloaded tinder in 2015 when he was 18, even though he had no intention of going on any dates or finding a girlfriend

At the height of his addition, he spent about £354 on the dating apps in the space of 18 months.  

He eventually quit the apps after six years when he got into his first year-long relationship in 2021. But he still thought about swiping daily, which made him feel like a ‘bad’ partner. 

It was his therapist that suggested it was these dating apps that were causing him problems and told him he needed to stop using them. 

But every time he tried to quit, he would last a month before caving in and redownloading them.

The more he used the apps, the more he lost the ability to socialise and fell into bouts of depression for months at a time, leaving him feeling helpless because he didn’t know how to talk to the women he had matched with. He said validation from others was the only thing keeping him going. 

At the time, many of his friends were also using the apps and didn’t perceive his use as a problem. He only admitted to friends that he was struggling 18 months ago.

Even after a year of therapy, he says he still struggles to get off the apps. Mr Turner spent £60 on a three-month Bumble subscription only a few months ago. 

However, he has now stopped swiping right on every women he sees.  

Mr Turner said he feels ‘targeted’ when he is using the apps and, from his own research, and reaching out for help on forums such as Reddit, he knows others are also affected by this addiction.  

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